Why you aren’t getting what you want, and what to do about it

Are you having trouble manifesting what you really want in your life?  You’ve read the books and gone through the steps and really focused on what you want, but it doesn’t happen.  Then, you walk away wondering what you did wrong.  Maybe you think it just won’t happen for you.

Don’t worry, there’s still hope.  Here are some of the reasons that you’re not getting what you want and how to fix them:

There’s no room in your life for something new.

Let’s say you want a fulfilling long-term relationship, but you are dating someone who refuses to commit to you.  You know it’s not going anywhere, but you stay in the relationship, anyway.  Being with someone makes it harder to date, because you are getting something right now, even if it’s not what you really want.  You may feel guilty about dating or have trouble making the time.  Ultimately, the message that you are sending out is that you are taken.  When the Universe tries to give you someone better, it’s getting a busy signal from you.

The solution:  Let go of anything that’s blocking your ability to receive what you want.  Then, trust that you will get it.

You don’t really believe that you deserve what you want.

You want a partner, but you think you are too fat, too broke, too weird, too depressed―too whatever―for someone to love you.  This is the negative self-talk you hear in your head all the time.  When you are constantly bombarded with negative messages, you start to believe them, and you believe you are not worthy.

The solution:  Be vigilant for negative thoughts.  When you catch one, say to yourself, “I used to believe that, but now I know that I’m fine just the way I am, and I deserve to get what I want.”

You don’t believe you can actually get what you want.

If you’ve never had a really healthy and lasting relationship before, you will probably tell yourself that it’s just not possible for you.  After all, you don’t have PROOF that it can happen for you.  You’ll think, yeah, true love happens for other people, but not for me.

The solution:  Work on being open to possibility.  Do you know with 100% certainty that you will NEVER find love?  Of course not.  There’s always a chance it will happen for you.  But if you believe it can’t happen, it won’t.  When negative thoughts creep in, tell yourself, “This can happen for me.  I believe in myself.”

Deep down, you don’t really want it.

This seems crazy, but it happens a lot.  You think you want something, but you don’t.  Or you don’t want it enough to actually make any effort to get it.  It sounds great, but it might not be something that makes you really happy.  People say they want a million dollars, but they don’t want to do what it takes to get a million dollars.  And would that much money really make them happy?  There are many stories of lottery winners who lost their friends and their money within a few years.  Money doesn’t make people happy.  Happy people make money.

The solution:  Ask yourself if you really want what you think you want.  Picture your life if you had it.  Is it really better?  How do you feel?  If you don’t have a good emotional connection with what you want, you won’t get it.  And if you do get it, you probably won’t be happy with it.

You aren’t aligned with what you want.

You may really want something deep down, but there’s some kind of disconnect.  Maybe you aren’t emotionally ready for a long-term relationship right now.  There could be many reasons why you aren’t realizing your dreams.  Sometimes, it’s just in the timing, and you need time to work on the things that are blocking you.

The solution:  Ask what’s blocking you from getting what you want.  Usually, there’s an emotional issue that’s unresolved.  What is the thing that pushes your buttons the most?  That’s what you need to work on and clear out, so you can open the way to receive.

You are trying to control how it happens.

How something comes to you is not your job.  You need to ask for what you want, set a clear intention, and take both practical and inspired action to make it happen.  But you can’t be stuck on HOW it happens.  And you can’t get caught up in micro-managing every detail.  If you want to get a down payment on a new car, there are many places the money can come from.  But if you expect it to only come from your tax refund, you are limiting your options.  What if you don’t get the refund amount you thought you would?  You could get a gift, an inheritance, a prize, a bonus at work, a new client.  Let the Universe help you in whatever way it wants.

The solution:  Stop obsessing about HOW you are going to get what you want.  Trust that it’s on its way to you in the most benevolent way possible.  In fact, you may get more than you ask for by allowing the grace to happen for you.

You don’t have a way to receive the abundance coming into your life.

While it’s not your job to figure out exactly how to manifest what you want, you do need to have some system in place to receive what you want. For instance, if you want to make more money, you need to have something of value to give in return.  You could very well be gifted the money, but often, you are required to step up your game in order to match the energy you receive.  This is especially true when you are asking for an ongoing increase in your abundance.  If you just want a down payment on a new car, you could very well get a check out of nowhere or a gift from a family member.  But making $10,000 a month will likely require you to create a way to receive the wealth consistently and match it with what you are giving back.

Solution:  Ask yourself what you are willing to give in return for the value you want to receive.  You may need to get a new job or create a new service to make the money you want.  If you want a long-term partner, you need to be willing to commit and make room in your life for someone.

You aren’t taking practical and inspired action.

Again, you don’t have to figure out exactly how you are going to manifest what you want.  However, you do need to make yourself available for what you want, and you must take steps to make it happen.  If you are simply asking for what you want, but you aren’t making actual plans and putting any energy into it, you probably aren’t going to get much back.  Manifesting requires both intention and action.

The solution:  Prepare for what you want. If you want to meet someone and have a long-term relationship, you can’t just stay in your house all of the time or never go on a dating app.  You need to do something to put your energy out there and show the Universe that you mean business.  If you want to go on your dream trip, you need to plan an itinerary, save money, buy plane tickets, block off the dates on your calendar, ask for time off work.  These are some of the practical steps.  You might also be inspired to ask a friend to go and cover half the costs, or you might follow up on a promotion that includes overseas travel to the very place you want to go.  Look for the coincidences to lead you in the right direction, and take action!

It’s not in your highest good.

Some things that you want just aren’t right for you.  Or they aren’t right for you RIGHT NOW.  God always answers prayers, but sometimes He says no, because there’s something BETTER in store for you.  Another thing to remember is that sometimes you are given a desire for something in order to get you to take the next step toward something greater.  What you want isn’t an end in itself.  It’s another step on the journey.  So, if it doesn’t happen, look at the bigger picture.

The solution:  When you are working on manifesting something, remember to say, “This or something better now comes to me.”  If you don’t get what you want, ask, “Where’s my gift?”  There is always something good waiting for you, even if it seems like nothing is working out.  When things seem to be falling apart, they are really falling into place.  It just may take some time and perspective to see how.

Still not sure which one of these could be true for you?  Pull a card for each one and see what it tells you.  Also, ask for guidance on what you need to do to overcome the block that comes up.

Remember that you are powerful, and there’s always a gift for you in all that you do.  Everything you need is in godspeed.