For the last several months, I’ve been working on creating and publishing the Midnight Oracle cards, because I feel like there should be a deck that’s super simple and easy to read completely intuitively. And I want to release a REAL, FULL DECK of cards into the world as a free download, so everyone can start using them right away.
I’m finally on the cusp of launching them, and I’m so excited!
But at the same time, I am amazed at the sheer amount of fear and blocks that have come up. A good friend and spiritual teacher of mine wrote a book called Break Through Your Threshold (definitely check it out) about how when you start working toward a big goal, thresholds (obstacles) will begin to come up. They can be about not having enough time, manifesting health issues, or dealing with sudden drama, among other things.
In the past month or so, EVERY obstacle has come up for me. I’ve felt under siege to the point of beginning to seriously question if this is the right path for me.
The thing is that every time I’ve asked the cards for a reading or asked my spirit guides for a message, the answer is KEEP GOING, “You are completely blessed in this mission.”
But the going has been rough.
I spent two weeks in bed with a severe allergic reaction. I had stomach issues arise on the heels of it. I pulled a muscle in my back and had a hard time sitting at my computer for any length of time. My face sprouted patches of acne that refuses to clear up completely, making me self-conscious about doing videos, which are the centerpiece of the content I want to offer. I had terrible anxiety and had to ask a friend to go with me to the copy shop to get a final proof of my cards printed, because I just couldn’t bring myself to do it alone. Then, depression came along just to cap things off. Meanwhile, I’m still working at my other business, and the work has been piling up, because I’m stuggling with my physical and emotional health.
Just when I was about to scream WTF ALREADY, my Internet connection started going wonky. It has been cutting in and out randomly for a few days. My provider said they were having some outages in the area. Then, they said it must be our wiring, and they can’t send a technician over for THREE DAYS.
I do almost all of my work online. Not to mention, we can’t even watch a show or browse Facebook without WiFi or a lot of extra charges on our phone bill.
I finally went on a late night prayer walk to ask my guides what was going on. They told me that I was allowing a lot of fear and worries to come up. Some of them are deep worries about how I’m going to make money, if I’m going to get completely well, what I’m going to do about my future. Floating on top of those are worries about the cards not being received well, worries about putting myself out there as a public figure, worries about whether I’m just wasting my time with all of this oracle card stuff and maybe I should just go live in Angola and raise goats.
But worry is just fear, and here is what they said about fear: “Fear is a beast with no teeth.”
Wow. Yeah, it looks real. It feels like the hot breath of a monster breathing down your neck. But it has no teeth. Or claws. It can’t really hurt you.
Fear only has the power we give it.
To stop fear, we have to walk through it, as if it’s merely an apparition, because it is. Fear is an emotion, and yeah, it can wreak havoc, but only if we let it.
The trick is to see it and call it out and just KEEP GOING no matter what.
The obstacles that come up can seem insurmountable, especially when I’m lying in my bed for two weeks, unable to work, because my body feels like I was hit by a bus. Or when I literally can’t save any of my work online, because the connection went down AGAIN for the umpteenth time today.
The question I then ask is: “What CAN I do?” Sometimes the answer is, “Nothing.” And that just means I need to rest until I can do something again. But often, there’s some little thing. It might not seem like much, but it’s one baby step forward.
For good measure, I asked the cards what I CAN do today. MOON and FEATHER came up. Moon reminds me that this is just a cycle that’s happening right now. This, too, shall pass. Also, things may seem dark, but there is a light guiding me. There is divine inspiration leading me forward, even if I can’t see clearly right now. And feather reminds me to lighten up, to put down the load I’m carrying, to let go of the worries. Fear is heavy. Stop carrying it. Everything happens in divine timing.
And so it is.
Fear is a beast with no teeth. It has no real power.
I have the power.
You have the power.